The other night I caught a couple of episodes of Carson Kressley’s ‘How to Look Good Naked’ (http://www.mylifetime.com/on-tv/shows/how-look-good-naked), and I was positively impressed with what he did on the show. It’s about time that a rational voice regarding physical beauty is getting some airplay. The dominant western image of beauty seems to be biased toward something that is not realistic for most people, and I love seeing a popular television/fashion personality reject it openly.
Although, I would like to see the show give some time toward a message of a healthy lifestyle including proper nutrition and exercise, it is great that someone is focusing on the message that we are worthy, desirable, and deserving of love regardless of how we fit (or not) the images fed to us by the media.
The show focuses on women and body image, but it isn’t just women plagued by this anymore. Over the past few years, the percent of men with body image issues has increased dramatically; just type ‘body image men’ into a search engine and see what comes up. The message of loving and accepting yourself as you are is relevant to everyone who doesn’t happen to fit the trendy image provided.
This issue is not limited to how we compare ourselves to media images of beauty; it’s also relevant to how we judge ourselves in comparison to others on a whole host of subjects. We often allow our self worth to be based on superficial traits, material possessions, and the opinions or goals of others we barely know or even like. Comparing ourselves to others really isn’t a healthy thing.
In our search for love and ‘belongingness’, we often skip over the very place we should start – our own feelings. What feels right to you? Not what you think should be right for you based on conditioned beliefs and attitudes. Some of the conditioning might have been healthy or appropriate for a time long ago, but so often other’s influence came with ulterior motives regarding control, power, or profit. And many times we have been influenced by unenlightened people who didn’t have a clue.
Now I don’t mean to say we need to only think of ourselves and have a disregard for other’s opinions, but let’s first consult our own feelings and common sense. From there we can ask for objective feedback from others who have proven worthy of our trust, or have some valid credential or track record at providing positive guidance in personal growth and self awareness, or acquiring practical skills.
In business we can ask for advice and mentoring from colleagues who have valuable experience in areas we aspire to achieve new levels of skill. They might not be people who we would want to emulate in all ways, but who have demonstrated specific skill and expertise. It is important that we take only that which is relevant and helpful for our growth and leave the rest. First and foremost it must feel right, not like you are fighting against yourself. Before others are going to respect and accept us, we need to have a solid sense of respect and acceptance of ourselves. If we don’t it will show through.
Who we naturally are, is to be cherished and who we become is best fostered in a manner that feels right inside. We all have different personalities and ways of being in and enjoying the world. Trying to force another’s way upon yourself will only result in frustration. Conformity is a great thing when the topic is respect and safety for one another, but when it comes to personality, looks, talents, and style – variety and individuality are much more interesting, and advance our consciousness as individuals and as a culture.
And lastly, accepting and not getting judgmental is as important to practice with others, as it is with yourself. Look for the unique gifts in another who is different, as much as you would like them to accept you for who you are.
